Monday, November 29, 2010


So I decided to start a blog about my weight loss journey. I am getting a Lapband on 12/13/10. I am getting prepared for the surgery. I've had all the tests and the lessons and everything. Hopefully everything goes as planned since it's been pushed back a number of times. I am a little scared, but I think I can do this. Hell, I've done EVERYTHING else to lose weight in my life, and I am completely burned out on all those things, so I think this will be a good tool to help me lose weight. I ideally want to lose about 120 pounds, then see what I feel like at that weight. 

It is totally depressing reading the guide about how I get to eat pureed beans and various mushy things for a month, gross! But, I guess I will probably lose a good amount of weight in that first month, which will give me the incentive to continue. I just did my last "real" grocery shopping yesterday, and that made me sad, and more scared. But, crap, food is expensive, I will have much more money now to stalk Kris Allen and various other American Idols hahaha.

I start my liquid diet on Monday the 6th. So let's see how that goes. 2 full weeks of NO FOOD AT ALL. Sounds awful, I'm sure much complaining will ensue. I am pretty good with "rules" and things, so I'm thinking overall having the band will help. Because I won't want to cheat, and get sick by eating the wrong things.

Working out is going to be the hard part. I hate it! Who likes it? Who wants to run around and be out of breath, and get sweaty, nothing enjoyable about that, I did it for years and years and hated every single second of it. Then I always feel like it's not fair, I have super skinny friends that don't work out for hours and hours a day. Ugh, jealous!  Hopefully I can get into it, and maybe drag some of my friends and family out with me to go hiking or to a class or something.

I guess I'm a little worried I will feel weird when I lose weight. Since I won't be able to eat to cope with things anymore? I mean I don't really have any "issues" in my life, but I'm afraid I'm going to find one when I'm skinny! Though, all my troubles and anxiety I have now, probably has to do unconsciously with my weight. Hopefully my panic attacks will die completely, and hopefully I can score a great new job with out discrimination. Also it will be good to fit comfortably in a movie theatre seat, or an amusement park ride, or an airplane. And to buy clothes that fit comfortably, and that are cute and cheap! Things you skinny people probably take for granted everyday. 

Ok! so I got that out there... please feel free to comment and give me some support because I am going to need it.