Wednesday, December 29, 2010


I set some goals on the right side there ~~~>

I think it's too early to put "dates" on them, as I don't have a really good idea of how much I'm losing a week yet. But I'm excited yay!! I guess my first big goal is 70 pounds by the American Idol finale. Yea yea, laugh LOL! But, it's probably the biggest and most fun event I go to every year, lots of my Idol nerds from around the country come and visit, and I get to see all my favorite Idols and I'm excited about it. That will also be about 5 months out from surgery.. Might be a little high, but if you do the math it's only 3 pounds a week yea I'm stupid, I already lost 22 pounds haha so it's only 48 more pounds. so that is only like 2 pounds a week which is OF COURSE doable.. if I kick up the exercise I can probably do it. I've been watching some videos and reading some blogs and that seems doable. I was going to do my birthday, but I think April is a little too soon for me.

I was watching through this ladies videos, very intersting! She lost 106 pounds in 6 months.

My ultimate goal is 123 pounds, that will put me at 175. Now, I don't know what I'll look like at 175 haha, but that is my goal weight for now. I will probably choose to lose more after that, but I'm not sure. Hell, I don't even remember the last time I was 175 maybe 7th grade? I think ultimately I'd like to wear a size 10 in pants. I think one of my legs would fit in to a size 10 now LOL.

I think my first non weight goal will be buying jeans that freakin fit! Lane Bryant I'm looking at you and your terrible fitting jeans. If you are skinny you have no idea how hard it is. I only own 3 pairs right now, and 2 of them are really bad quality from Avenue, I'm scared they won't last me!

Ohhh also! Zumba! I wanna try it, it looks like fun, who's with me!? Zumba Website

Anyways that was a lot of rambling, off to bed now!


Soft Food Day 1

Hello :)

Today I started 10 days of "soft food" aka I can pretty much eat normally, minus like extremely hard to digest things. For breakfast I had a half a piece of toast and 2 scrambled eggs. It was good :D. It's just weird eating such tiny amounts. I'm thinking bread is not going to be worth it in the long run, but I guess it's good to know I CAN eat it occasionally, considering it was such a big part of my diet pre-surgery. I also had some flat bread crackers with my chicken salad at lunch and those were great, and I feel more useful than 1/2 a piece of toast. I bought some ground beef yesterday, I'm going to try making a taco, and maybe like some ground beef with pasta sauce and mozzarella cheese, so lasagna ish? haha.

Everything is going well, I feel perfect now. I wish it would stop raining so I can go hiking or something! I'm kind of itching to start exercising. Go figure haha. 

If I don't post again, Happy New Year's everybody :D


Monday, December 27, 2010

21 Pounds!

Just got back from Las Vegas for the holidays with my parents, and it was so much fun! I had no trouble eating. I've probably been fudging my diet slightly, eating things that are a little bit more solid, and a little more than 1/4 of a cup. But seriously, without a fill, I would pass out eating only a 1/4 cup of food. but I haven't had any trouble getting things down.

I loveeeeeeeeeeeeeee oatmeal, it's so good. God knows why. I had so many good bowls of oatmeal on vacation. Thank you Mandalay Bay for your awesome oatmeal LOL (though at $7.50 a bowl I could of bought 100 boxes of Quaker haha.) Also I had a lot of chili, I had a "chili boat" from Tommy's yesterday, that was delicious. Also the filling from chicken lettuce wraps is really ground up tiny and goes down easy. Both really filling too. I'm trying to get a lot of protein in my meals so I don't have to do protein shakes, because those are nasty.

I peeled off my bandages yesterday, looks good. I still can't tell where my port is though. I feel like an alien because I have a port! Haha.

In even better news, I'm down 21 pounds woohoo! Not bad. I got to start doing some exercise now I don't think I can do anything strenuous yet, but I can go walking. I think I want to try hiking again.

Here is a picture from my trip. I feel like I look a little smaller, so yay!!

Donnie Osmand!

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Pureed Food Day 1

Today is the day! I get some real food. I can have 1/4 cup of pureed or really mushy food per meal. So I had 1/4 cup of thinned oatmeal this morning. It was pretty good! This part is helping me realize just how much food I was eating before. I used to have 3 eggs and a large bagel for breakfast. Now, to be honest, the oatmeal didn't really fill me up. But I wasn't hungry after, but I didn't get the "full" feeling from it. Then for lunch I had 1/4 cup of Fresh & Easy egg salad, that was good, and more filling I think. Everything went down smoothly, no trouble, which made me happy!

Other than that everything is going smoothly, I barely have any pain anymore, and the last few days I've been back to normal doing errands and shopping and hanging out.


Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Surgery Day Recap

Hey! Had my surgery on Monday. Got up really early and my parents picked me up and drove me to UC Irvine. I still had my cold, so I wasn't 100% sure they were going to do the surgery.

So I get all checked in, and then my doctor and anesthesiology and some others come by to decide if they wanna do it. Finally they decided it's fine.

Then the nurse gives me an IV, with much trouble because I was so dry! The nurses were smacking my hand for like 5 minutes. Then I talk to my parents and they wheel me in, it all seemed to go as planned. I was out at 1:30. They gave me some pain meds and nausea meds right after and finally water!! I was drowsy and out of it for a few hours. Then the gas pain got SO bad that the nurse had me walk and that helped a lot. (you have gas because they pump you full of air when they do the surgery)

So I had trouble filling my prescription for the meds the day before so we spent hours trying to get someone to fix it, and nobody seemed to take care of it but finally it was ruled the perscription was fine. Gee thanks CVS!

They had taken so long messing around with that that my meds had worn off and they couldn't give me more. Ack, but finally at about 7 after waiting like 30 minutes for wheelchair to come pick me up, we left. My parents live about an hour and a half away from the hospital. That ride was not too pleasant. Finally when we got home my dad went to get my meds.

The meds help a little, still really sore, and my neck and my shoulder hurt. It's hard to get up and down from bed or a seat. I'm doing a lot better today. Oddly enough I have no sense of smell right now and barely any taste, maybe from the oxygen or my cold, but hey! My cold feels about 98% better yay.

So overall it went well, I wish I got to talk to my surgeon after surgery. But nope. But overall I think I know what to do.

Heres to hoping this pain dies quickly! I'm going home from my parents tonight.


Sunday, December 12, 2010

Day 7

Still sick! It sucks. I've gone through 3 boxes of tissues! Nothing really helps me feel better, trying all sorts of pills, it's so annoying, nothing worse than the common cold.

I went to pick up my prescriptions today for after my surgery, and of course, they didn't fill out the dosage or something on the paper, so I can't get them, and can't call them because it's Sunday. Great.

I guess everything is still on for tomorrow. I guess I won't know till I get there if they will do it or not. Pretty much the worst thing I can imagine is having to sneeze after abdominal surgery ahha. My doctor wasn't worried about it, but the anesthesiologist was. Sooo I don't know. This cold is pretty brutal.

In better news, this week of not eating wasn't so bad. I was fine after 2 days of it. Now, I don't even care, and honestly I don't want to eat or drink the protein shakes. I probably haven't been having as much protein as I should. Well, I'd be eating if I could, but I have no desire for the things I can have. It's like drinking 6 glasses of milk a day, I NEVER ever liked milk lol. Though it's kind of teaching me to recognize when I'm hungry, and not to eat for no reason.

I spent some time yesterday reading good things and bad things about the surgery, and what life is like after. I read a whole posting on what people eat in a day. Which gave me a better idea what to expect, doesn't seem too bad, but to eat that way for the rest of my entire life is a little scary. I also read the "what crap gets stuck in my band thread" haha learned a few things. Like why bread doesn't go down well. Because of gluten, it expands in your stomach and gets stuck. Nobody seems to be able to eat rice or most types of meat or chicken and scrambled eggs for several people. The eggs puzzle me, how can that not be soft enough to fit down? I understand the meat and chicken you'd have to macerate it so much with your teeth and it's often dry, it'd have to be pretty much liquid or it wouldn't go down.

I read a lot of stories, and saw lots of success photos and that made me feel better. Hopefully I can do this!

Wish me luck!


Saturday, December 11, 2010

Day 6

I have the worst cold ever!! I feel terrible. My surgeon said it should be ok. Gosh, but I feel like I'm getting worse not better. But I really don't know at this point. I'm hoping! I don't want to do 7 days of liquids all over again! >.<

My surgery is Monday at 11:15 at UC Irvine.

Other than that, I'm good and ready to go. Please pray that this cold goes away!!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Day 3

I'm pretty good today overall. I've been busy with some freelance work so that kept my mind off food. Pretty much I'm fine, till I'm not completely distracted and I think about food, then I want food, and I'm scared that I'm going to fail, and how can I never eat a normal amount of food again. Ugh. I'm looking forward to next week when I can add some flavor!! haha. I think I might die when I get to eat mushies!! haha.

I strained some chicken noodle soup today and just had the broth, that tasted good and felt almost normal. I need to go to the store and see if I can find some different varieties.

I drank a whole 20oz Isopure which is 40g protein today with some SF Kool-Aid in it, and that really filled me up. I need more, but I'm not hungry.


Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Day 2

Haha, apparently I pee'd out 6 pounds yesterday \o/ I'll take it. I know probably just water weight but still sounds pretty exciting.

My verdict on these drinks, I really don't like Jello, Myoplex lite is good, the various powdered shakes aren't as good because it's grainy and frothy, I like Sugar Free Grape Kool-Aid, and I LOVE chicken bullion. It actually really hits the spot. I'm still a bit confused because they said I can't have milk products before the surgery, but all the protein shakes have it some kinda milk protein in it. Except this icky Isopure I'm drinking right now, which is like fruit punch.

Yesterday was hard man. It's just weird to not eat any food. I was a little depressed about it. You know the whole doom and gloom mentality OHH IM NEVER GONNA EAT XYZ AGAIN. But, for the most part I'm ok. I guess this will make me that much more grateful for food. After the surgery I can have more normal things like tomato soup and pudding and things so that should help. 

I went to see the doctor, yesterday, just saw the nurse, and I still don't know what time my surgery is at, but I got some prescriptions for pain and nausea for after my surgery. 

Hanging in there,

Monday, December 6, 2010

Liquid Diet Day 1


First I want to thank all of you for the kind e-mails and comments on my last post, that made me feel good :). Good to have a support group.

So I had a good weekend of eating haha. Had my "last meal" at Ruth Chris Steak House on Saturday, which was delicious! Also had my favorite Cheesy Mac & Rib from The Grilled Cheese Truck for lunch. I think I got all my favorite things out of my system. I started my liquid diet this morning. Not too bad so far. I'm not hungry.. just trying to keep my mind occupied so I don't think about food!

I had fun blending up my protein shake with my nifty new stick blender. It tasted kind of gross, but it's doable. I like the pre-mixed ones better, but it was hard to find ones that had the correct nutrition I needed. Also chewable vitamins are not pleasant either! Haha, but I got to eat Flinstones which made me excited.

Going to my last doctors appointment today to see what they have to say, and find out the time and place of my surgery. Hopefully it all goes smoothly, since I've been trying to get it all worked out since AUGUST. 

I weighed myself this morning so I can track my weight loss, I think I will post the pounds lost, instead of my weight here. I just don't feel like telling ya'll my weight! Well, maybe later, but not now.

Thanks again for all the kind words,

Monday, November 29, 2010


So I decided to start a blog about my weight loss journey. I am getting a Lapband on 12/13/10. I am getting prepared for the surgery. I've had all the tests and the lessons and everything. Hopefully everything goes as planned since it's been pushed back a number of times. I am a little scared, but I think I can do this. Hell, I've done EVERYTHING else to lose weight in my life, and I am completely burned out on all those things, so I think this will be a good tool to help me lose weight. I ideally want to lose about 120 pounds, then see what I feel like at that weight. 

It is totally depressing reading the guide about how I get to eat pureed beans and various mushy things for a month, gross! But, I guess I will probably lose a good amount of weight in that first month, which will give me the incentive to continue. I just did my last "real" grocery shopping yesterday, and that made me sad, and more scared. But, crap, food is expensive, I will have much more money now to stalk Kris Allen and various other American Idols hahaha.

I start my liquid diet on Monday the 6th. So let's see how that goes. 2 full weeks of NO FOOD AT ALL. Sounds awful, I'm sure much complaining will ensue. I am pretty good with "rules" and things, so I'm thinking overall having the band will help. Because I won't want to cheat, and get sick by eating the wrong things.

Working out is going to be the hard part. I hate it! Who likes it? Who wants to run around and be out of breath, and get sweaty, nothing enjoyable about that, I did it for years and years and hated every single second of it. Then I always feel like it's not fair, I have super skinny friends that don't work out for hours and hours a day. Ugh, jealous!  Hopefully I can get into it, and maybe drag some of my friends and family out with me to go hiking or to a class or something.

I guess I'm a little worried I will feel weird when I lose weight. Since I won't be able to eat to cope with things anymore? I mean I don't really have any "issues" in my life, but I'm afraid I'm going to find one when I'm skinny! Though, all my troubles and anxiety I have now, probably has to do unconsciously with my weight. Hopefully my panic attacks will die completely, and hopefully I can score a great new job with out discrimination. Also it will be good to fit comfortably in a movie theatre seat, or an amusement park ride, or an airplane. And to buy clothes that fit comfortably, and that are cute and cheap! Things you skinny people probably take for granted everyday. 

Ok! so I got that out there... please feel free to comment and give me some support because I am going to need it.